Bring Me The Head Of Jim Haugh

A new spring football league called the AAFL is starting up soon, and everybody’s having a chuckle about their draft list. But everyone’s missed the obvious joke, at least when it comes to the Florida roster…

…sorry, I put it in the headline.

For all the “who are these nobodies?” articles that have appeared in the college football media, you’d think somebody would have noticed that the AAFL draft list is loaded with more freely-available 30-somethings than a speed-dating event in Largo. Look at some of the names on the Team Florida draft list:

1. Eric Kresser, QB, Florida/Marshall (age 35)
8. Willie Jackson, WR, Florida (turns 37 shortly after AAFL season ends)
10. Travis McGriff, WR, Florida (age 31)
13. Chris Doering, WR, Florida (turns 35 during the season)
14. Elijah Williams, DB, Florida (age 32)
15. Fred Weary, DB, Florida (turns 34 during the season)

I’d find more examples, including some non-Gators, but most of the players on the AAFL draft list weren’t even drafted by the NFL after their senior season. And I’m not digging through a dozen schools’ media guides to make the point.

Other names that’ll make you 30-to-35-year-olds dust off the beer bong: Eric Crouch; Tee Martin; Woodrow Dantzler; Peter Warrick; Purdue kicker Travis Dorsch; Clint Stoerner and Chrys Chukwuma of Arkansas; and that “He Hate Me” guy. Yes, folks, the XFL was seven years ago.

At least now we know why only two USF players were chosen. The football team’s not been around long enough to have any 35-year-old alumni. Except Ron Johnson. Now if he were playing, I might actually buy a ticket.